*U2 concert: awesome
*Seeing friends I don't get to see often: awesome
*Winning at video games: awesome
*Winning at craps: awesome-squared
*Dinner at Battista's: still awesome after all these years
*Weather: awesome
*Tacos with shredded chicken: awe-yum
*Episode of Three Rivers we watched to complete an opinion poll: the opposite of awesome (My daughter said, mid-show, "The dial doesn't go below 0! It needs to go below 0!")
*Seeing costumes a week before Halloween: awesomely creative
*Getting diet Coke in a bottle: awesome awesome awesome - do you know how long it's been since I've had diet Coke out of a bottle? ::sob:: There are no words for the joy.
*Over-imbibing on the last night: ummm...no comment
*Flying home after over-imbibing on the last night: awe-yuck (except I sat next to two U2 fans who weren't my family - that was fun - and I was smart enough to get a direct flight, so go me)

Tags: u2, vacation

1. The other morning when I woke up, I thought "this could be the last day of my life". Obviously, this is true on any given day, but I've never had a thought like that upon waking up. It put me in a strange mood all day, thinking of fun things I would've rather been doing, thinking about how typical my day was with work and running out to lunch half-starved because I wanted to get to just one more thing before I left my desk, and choosing what to eat based on the fact that I planned on working out that night. If I had been hit by a bus in the middle of the day, that would have been the most extraordinary thing about it since the rest was so boring to contemplate.

2. Despite a very negative start with it, I've really taken to Zumba. Most of the instructors at my gym use a mixture of Latin & world music plus hip-hop. The hip-hop songs always get us going the most, and I don't know if that's just because the songs are familiar and in English and with a rhythm we're used to (I was struck during U2 3D by the fact that the Latin American crowd bounced around at a much faster rhythm than we use in the US). The songs in Spanish get to me, though. I'll wake up with a bit of song and dance in my head and it's kind of frustrating because I don't know the lyrics. All I can do is bop around the house performing echoes of dance moves I half remember from class while stanzas of songs run through my head.

3. Why do running shoes have to cost so much? I haven't really been on a run for months, but I've been able to do a mile or so on the treadmill at the gym and now I'm eager to try it again outside. (I all but threw my fists in the air and yelled 'Steve Holt!' at the time, I was so stoked to be able to run even a little). I'm not expecting anything spectacular, but I know to expect anything at all I'm going to need new running shoes. I had been saving my running shoes for running, but then things came up, the other shoes I used for other stuff didn't work out, and now the shoes I had saved for running need to be replaced. I looked them up online today and even though Nike has moved on a generation or so with the ones I use, the most inexpensive ones I could find are $50. All I can do is think about how the latest thing in running is doing it barefoot, and that's starting to sound appealing. Only the thought of how stinking cold and wet it is to run barefoot this time of year is holding me back from trying it right now.

4. My family is getting pretty excited to be leaving for Las Vegas in a few days. I can't even express how happy I am to be having a few days off of work. And to be warm again for a couple of days. *AND* to get to see U2 again. I. Can't. Wait. I keep hearing tantalizing things about some of their song selections (obscure to the masses, but as well known as a good friend for the fans) and have my fingers crossed that I'll get to hear some things I never expected to hear live. Plus, some friends from Los Angeles will be there and it's always good to get to see old friends.

5. In Rolling Stone a few weeks back, there was an article about Pearl Jam. I keep thinking about an anecdote they related and I chuckle every time it comes to mind. During a concert, Eddie Vedder spotted a fan in the crowd wearing a t-shirt with "No Even Flow" written on it. The band ripped into Even Flow as Eddie told him, "We take requests, not commands. You should know that by now, sir." I'm sorry I missed seeing them again when they came through recently - they really are a great band to see live. If you're a rock-and-roll fan, you need to see them at least once, I think.

6. I don't know if it's the stress of work, work, work and the daily grind of always being responsible to do something for somebody just about wherever you are, or mid-life crisis, or what...but I've been feeling...I guess the word is "restless". Well, "restless" doesn't quite say it, either. What I'm feeling is jealous of people who can still go out to a club and hang out with friends, drink and let off steam, do crazy-fun things, sleep it all off the next day, then hang around sort of dressed and with last night's make up half on and half in places it shouldn't be, laughing about the night before and life in general until the urge for greasy Mexican food becomes so irresistible that a shower and a trip out of the house is as necessary as air. You can't do that when you get much past your 20s - or if you do, you're labeled a big ol' loser. But the thing is, you kind of *need* that sort of thing every once in awhile. Or at least I do. I don't want to not be a married mother with a respectable job, but I do long for the option of having a place I can go and have fun for a few hours that involves loud music and dancing that's like the places I frequented when I was younger. I wonder sometimes if I'm the only one, or if I started a club for the older crowd, if it would be packed with people every Saturday night, dancing and drinking and smoking like rock stars, getting their groove on in their mom jeans (or the male equivalent thereof) until the wee small hours.

7. I went out after work a few nights back and had drinks with a couple of work friends. One of the people I hadn't seen in about 5 years and she didn't recognize me when we met up. At all. She was walking by and didn't see us, I yelled her name, then had to grab her arm to get her attention. She looked at me strangely, as if she was attempting to form the polite words for "who the hell are you?", then glanced over her shoulder and recognized someone else. She told me later I looked so completely different to her that she never would have guessed it was me. I came home and looked at a picture of me that was taken with my family around the time when we last saw one another to double check for myself. I look just about the same, I think. My hair is styled a little different, but hell, I still own (and wear) the outfit in the picture. I feel like I'm always just about the same - same general hair style, same general clothing style. This happened to me before between going off to college and coming back at the end of freshman year - people didn't recognize me and I didn't get it. I think it comes back to this thing that's also related to how I run into people all the time who say I look familiar to them: I think I'm a particular kind of average-looking that allows others to imbue characteristics onto me from other people, and vice versa. So when people haven't seen me for awhile, they can't remember the details from the prior time they saw me, and when people I've never met before see me, they think I'm someone else. I started developing this theory awhile back, at a time a little after I was newly married and heard a story on the news about the height, dress size, bra size, and shoe size of the average American woman: my shoes were larger, but otherwise it was if they were describing me. At the time all it made me wonder was why, if I represented the average, I could never find anything to wear in my size. Later on, as incidents of non-recognition and over-recognition piled up, I started thinking about how it wasn't just size where I was apparently the American average and I started developing my Theory of the Average. Thus far, it seems to me that my Theory is holding up to scrutiny. In any event, I must say it is somewhat weird being the equivalent of room temperature. But on the other hand, it also means I am able to fit in with most crowds, and that's not too shabby at all.

My carpal tunnel has been particularly awful for the past few weeks. It's to the point where I'm actually considering the surgery, even though reports from people I know who have had it indicate mixed success and relief. I'm starting to figure that although it may not help and I could go through the pain and suffering for nothing, at least I'll know I've done what I can to try to make life better. You would think that not being able to do so much as clean a dish would be nice - and ok, I'll admit that in a way it *is* nice to have an excuse not to do housework - but any niceness from forced laziness is eclipsed by the overwhelming frustration of feeling useless. I see a splatter on a cupboard-front and know there's only so much forebearance I can squeeze out of my family in expecting them to clean it up since, after all, they've already cooked the meal and done the dishes. I notice it and it bugs me; they don't notice it and feel henpecked and that I'm ungrateful for what they've done when I point such things out.

This last week I did as little as possible, didn't lift weights when working out, typed by hen-pecking, and don't feel so enflamed from fingertip to shoulder today. I was amazed to realize yesterday how it seems as if I haven't exercised at all thanks to not lifting weights. It's as if my body craves that challenge that I put forth to it and was sorely disappointed to have missed it.

It's also frustrating to not be able to do this. It's a kind of exercise to the mind that I also miss, not to mention a way of making a human connection. And like with exercising muscles, you find you get out of shape when you give it up for a little too long. It feels like too long, as if I'll lose the skill all together if I don't just suck it up and do it once in awhile despite the pain, hence the typing when I really shouldn't be typing.

Since I'm good for just a few more words, I'll do a random, bullet-style list of life at the moment:
*Plans are coming along for a trip to Las Vegas next month. We really need to pick a place to stay and make the reservations, but for some reason, we are all in a dither over just making the choice.
*Summer is hanging in there 'til the very end this year and I'm quite enjoying it, not least because I don't really have a fall and winter wardrobe at the moment (I stupidly got rid of all of the stuff that was too big thinking "Oh, I've plenty of time to shop for stuff that fits").
*My daughter participated in an awesome soccer game yesterday. It ended in a tie, which I think was perfect because they really were so well matched against one another. There were lots of screams and groans throughout from the supporters of both teams. It was great fun to watch.
*I had a fantastic meal at a local restaurant called Cafe Nell the other night and I really wish I could to it justice with a nice, long post. I was with some people who know the chef, so got to meet him, and the chef kept sending out little treats for us to try that didn't end up on the final bill. There was this utterly superb eggplant soup - and I was thinking just a few days before about how I must not like eggplant any more because the last few times I've tried it, I haven't liked it - that was infused with garlic and other good stuff. And my pasta was out of this world. And dessert! So scrumptious. Anyway, if you're in Portland, check it out. He cooks with local, organic ingredients whenever he can and that love of food and flavor definitely shows up on the plate. I think I'll be taking my husband there for his birthday in a few weeks.

I really need some groceries, so I need to get myself motivated and out of the house. I have an appointment to have my computer looked at this afternoon, but I'd like to get out and enjoy the sunshine before that so I think I'm going to sign off now.

I've talked before about the stubborn streak in our cat, Misty. Let me tell you about the latest way she expresses her stubbornness.

After the vacation my family took at the beginning of May, she started this new thing: she likes to drink out of our water glasses. Or, to be more precise, mostly she likes to drink out of my water glass. At first, she refused to drink out of her bowl and I'd catch her lapping out of glasses constantly. Thus began a little war between us: I'd catch her at it, stop her from drinking, and she'd either slink away or go right back to sneaking toward the glass. Eventually, she started drinking from her bowl again and the frequency of her attempts was reduced. She still inches her way toward my water glasses that are sitting on side tables (and heaven help me if I set something on the floor) and is perfectly ready to drink out of them, but mostly she's now reserving her efforts for the glass of water I keep on my night stand. Making it even more grrr-inducing is that she also reserves her efforts for getting at that glass of water to the middle of the night.

It's one of my requirements for sleeping that I have a fresh glass of water next to me. Even if I'm not thirsty, if that glass of water is missing, I just can't relax enough to get to sleep for fear of waking up in the middle of the night, needing a sip of water. She's now taken to waiting until I'm asleep, then picking her way across the landscape of the bed and everything on it to get to that glass. It's the work of a moment for her to get from the floor on the other side of the room to having her face buried in my glass, happily lapping away. If I'm not quick enough in waking up to separate her from the glass, it's all over for me and that glass of water. I can't even count the number of times I've been *just* on the cusp of sleep, when I've felt her there, bridging herself between the bed and the night stand, placing a paw on the stand and slowly leaning into it, in preparation of taking a drink.

For a short while, we thought she may be afraid of straws in the glass because my daughter observed her checking out one of her glasses that had a straw, then quickly shying away. For a few happy nights, thinking we had cracked the code, I placed a straw in my night time glass of water. She got over her fear in a hurry, however, and we noticed that one night the straw had been moved - she figured out how to nose it out of the way and stick her face on in there. I've tried placing books on top of the glass; she noses those out of the way, as well.

Given her stubborn nature, I think this has taken on the aspects of a challenge to her and her sense of catliness. Meanwhile, it's taken on the nature of a challenge for me, as well, and my sense of being the master of this situation. On the one hand, I don't want to damage our relationship - I'm her go to human for all her ills - and I obviously don't want to hurt her. On the other hand, this needs to stop.

My family has discussed two ideas: I get a sippy cup (like for coffee) and use that until she gets over this obsession. I hesitate to do that because I'm not so coordinated in the middle of the night and I suspect the result of me + anything beside a glass in the middle of the night will = a frustrated me and a wet bed. The other idea is to dedicate a glass to her - I'll drink out of it and then let her have it, and get a second glass for myself. That I really don't want to do because I think the lesson she'll learn is that it's ok to drink out of our glasses.

So now what?



***
And speaking of cats, we've been teasing ours relentlessly with whisker and tail massages after seeing this video with it's "whisker watch alert". Too funny.

Tags: misty

I'm in the midst of reading Fiesta: The Sun Also Rises and I'm torn between thinking the fact that I find it to be like an almost-skillfully written autobiography (as in, it's good and all, but not all that great in the story-telling line at the same time) is either a sign of great skill and subtle genius or a horrible brand of laziness.

Jake is just arriving at Pamplona so the bullfighting hasn't started yet. I'm trying to do my best to see how it all comes out before making a final judgment. All I can say is, there better be some touching and profound revelation about the human condition somewhere between now and that last word if Hemingway is going to pull the iron out of the fire and secure my good opinion.

Tags: books

I bought some MAC eye shadow. I don't recommend it. Unless you like having your eye shadow navigate away from your eyes to places all over the rest of your face; if that's the case I say "go for it".

Also, I put on some of that self-tanning lotion this morning by accident. It was one of those free samples and I didn't really pay any attention to what the label actually said - I just thought, "Oh good, I can always use lotion". Next thing I knew I was looking at orangey-bronze streaks all over one of my legs. Which meant that of course I had to spread it all over both legs so they'd match. I'm now praying I won't end up with streaky tan lines for the rest of the summer. Oh, and let me not forget to mention that I polished off the experience by using another brand of lotion on my arms (since I didn't want to risk the streaks there, too), so now I smell reeeaaalll interesting. Something akin to what I think my husband would call stripper-ish. (Lets not get into the oppression of women and making do however they can in a world set up to favor the white male establishment and blah blah blah right now and just agree there's a certain kind of woman who goes for the "more is better" theory when it comes to applying scent and oftentimes those women are employed in a certain kind of job and leave it at that, ok?)

As maybe you can tell by the tenor of everything I've said thus far, I didn't really sleep last night - this heat wave we're having in the Pacific Northwest has been killer on the sleep patterns. I think this entire region is full of grumpy, loopy, crazy people now that we're going on so many days over the 90 degree mark (and some days over 100 with night-time lows in the 80s). We're not used to this kind of thing here - we're used to rain, rain, and more rain. I predict a mass hibernation the first day we have a high in the 70s again. I'm bleary-eyed and running on caffeine + determination (with a hint of oh-f*-it, I can't sleep anyway). I guess what I'm saying is: this is not the day to mess with me, world. I've already had it up to *here* thanks to the "eye" shadow and self-tanning experiences.

And oh good, now it's time to leave for work - this outta be fun.



P.S. Now let's forgot all that grousing so I can wish montyollie a Happy Birthday (I'd better do it now before I miss the day entirely). Hope you have a terrific, celebratory day.

I can't leave the house without clothes on?

Man, it's too stinking hot and not even 8 am! And, really, not that hot, objectively speaking.

I can tell already this day has "miserable" written allllll over it.

This little snippet comes from the UK version of Men's Health Magazine: vodka is friends with everyone.

God, I love the British. Who else would talk about adding vodka to a post-workout protein shake as a way of easing into the time between a workout and a night out with friends? Or have a whole article on the healthiest beers?

1. I'm craving something from McDonald's for breakfast. McDonald's! This is in spite of the fact that I've regretted pretty much anything I've ever had from their breakfast menu.

2. I've got that Blacked Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow running in a loop in my head, digging its little ear-wormy self in deeper and deeper whenever I attempt to think of some other song.

3. I'm crabby despite a good night of sleep.

4. There's no amount of product in the world that's going to make my hair look good today.

Numbers 2 and 4 may be kind of weak, but I'm pretty confident about numbers 1 and 3. I may as well go and stock up on some bad chocolate right now and save the world from one more raving lunatic when I try to get it when I'm a bit more desperate and stabbing someone seems a perfectly reasonable way to get them to hurry the hell up in front of me in the checkstand line. (Or, alternatively, just eating the damn thing right there in line and handing over the wrapper to the checker for scanning when it's finally my turn.)

Have been battling insomnia again in recent months (why? why? why? I was doing so well there for awhile) and grossly overslept this morning - as soon as my toast pops, I'm outta here.

Meanwhile, I'm amusing myself imagining the story behind this exchange from textsfromlastnight.com:

(240): Banned from zoo.
(301): Again?

I love how those four little words say so much while saying so little. Can't you just see a whole story, a la The Hangover, unfolding from that small kernel?


Oops there's the sound I was waiting on; time to wield the peanut butter. Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Tags: story ideas, words