Princess Strokenham ([info]fiveandfour) wrote,
@ 2008-05-01 19:36:00
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Modern Day Poet
During my lunch/errand break (why do decent moisturizers that don't make me break out with allergic hives or acne spots cost so much? ::woe::) I grabbed a Portland Mercury to read while eating. I turned to the Savage Love column (I see his point about the gay marriage vs. polygamy issue), but had a few bites left to eat so started reading the adjacent page. This turned out to be the personal ads. I was quite enjoying wondering to myself things like "did the girl who expressed an interest in philosophy say 'Descrates' on purpose, did she misspell it, or did the Mercury?" when I ran across my second favorite personal ad of all time (here's the first):

Hip to be Square
In sum: I am a lot like Emily Dickinson, if she'd had Internet access and a penis.
Brewne*, 25, #123714

I nearly choked to death laughing. If it didn't cost $4.99, I'd likely be tempted to leave a message saying how full of awesome genius I find that ad. Or maybe ask him to help me think up something for my tombstone. Because it seems to me the kind of mind that could come up with that would be the kind of mind I could use to help me come up with one of those pithy tombstone sayings that people take pictures of and talk about for hundreds of years.

Ladies**, if money is no object you might want to respond. If you do, you simply must come back and tell me all about it.


*I'm not completely sure I got the name right. I also don't know if that 25 is supposed to represent his age or something else. There goes my chances of being an ace reporter.
**The ad was in the "Boys 4 Girls" section, so I'm thinking he's straight.



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(Anonymous)
2008-05-02 05:27 am UTC (link)
That IS clever.

Sometimes I wish I were still in the game, just so I could spend my time thinking up personals like that.

doug

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[info]fiveandfour
2008-05-02 07:10 am UTC (link)
I never was any good at that kind of thing so I have no desire to be in that shark pool again. Though I do love that early stage in a relationship where you can't wait to know more and more and more about the other person and you can't think of a better way to spend time than staying up for hours talking. At that stage it's all such a gamble: will learning more reveal the exact type of person you've been hoping to meet or will it reveal the last person in the world you'd want anything to do with? Or maybe something in between, the kind of person who'll make a great friend because you get along great, you have lots in common and you haven't laughed so much in ages, but there's no sexual chemistry?

So many ways it can go, most of them bad, and yet you jump in anyway...

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