Princess Strokenham ([info]fiveandfour) wrote,
@ 2008-05-09 10:21:00
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Entry tags:laughter the best medicine, medicine

Because I Need a Laugh
I've had a migraine waxing and waning since yesterday morning. Just when I think it's going away, it pops back into the foreground (forehead?). Just when I think it's going to completely flatten me, it backs off enough that I can function. Somewhat.

For cases such as these, the trifecta of (at turns) taking to my bed, taking medicine, and taking a dose of laughter help alleviate the torture.

Here are a few things I've found recently that help with the laughter portion of that prescription:

Women's Porn. Totally safe for work. But you're on your own with explaining why you're laughing.

The Tale of Snow White and the Very Angry Dwarf. No pictures, just a funny and well-told story by [info]rachelmanija about an experience with theatre. She tells a couple of additional theatre stories after this one that are also terrific if you want to dig further into her LJ. (I've recommended her memoir All the Fishes Come Home to Roost before, but no harm in mentioning it again, right?)

What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage. I believe it's time that a word is invented in English that describes the sensation of being equal parts amused and appalled. I've experienced that sensation more and more as I've coasted around the internet; people really are amazing. Anyway, whatever that word will be, all I can ask is that it's better than "blog" (such a terrible word, "blog". Bleh.) This Shamu story is the embodiment of that to-be-invented word. (Appused? <--no, that's too similar to "accused". Amalled? <-- no, that's got to be for something like getting sucked into spending time at a mall for several hours more than your worst nightmares would ever envision. Hmmm....more thinking is required here. Just not today.)

And finally, a YouTube link that is safe for work, sorta': Minnie Mouse Sex Scandal. How unsurprised am I that this took place in France? Which is not to say I couldn't see it happening elsewhere, it's just that it's so *perfect* that it took place in France, somehow.


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[info]montyollie
2008-05-09 06:01 pm UTC (link)
LOL, you were appalled by the Shamu story? I loved it so much, I ran out and bought the book, and I've been applying it to my life. I think it's PURE genius. It has way less to do with 'training' your spouse (which is impossible anyhow... changing other people's behaviour) but rather changing how you react to things... as she says in the book: badgers dig. Not much you can do about that. Encourage the behaviours you want repeated and ignore the behaviours you don't.

I have to say my workplace is MUCH saner since I put these things into practice. :)

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[info]fiveandfour
2008-05-09 06:18 pm UTC (link)
Well, it *is* amusing - especially the fact that her training ideas worked. People are animals, after all, and showing just how much we're animals can be funny. And I totally get that every marriage is its own thing and if thinking of her husband as an exotic animal works, I guess I shouldn't be judgmental.

But at the same time, and maybe it's just the tone of her writing in that article, it seemed as though she was reducing her husband to this list of characteristics and traits, then reducing that list to the characteristics and traits that she needed to change about him for her own comfort. Thinking in that light made the experiment demeaning not only to the husband, but also to her.

Then again, if you're talking about a roomful of grade schoolers, I'd probably be right on board with thinking of them as a bunch of wild animals in need of some structured training, so 'hypocrite lecteur!--mon semblable,--mon souer!'

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[info]montyollie
2008-05-09 08:19 pm UTC (link)
I heard her (Amy Sutherland) interviewed on Public radio here, and I was mesmerized by her story. I googled the NYT article and then got the book last. In the interview, she talked about how people told her flat out how the whole nature of what she was doing was demeaning. She retorted something along the lines of... is it demeaning to encourage a dog not to eat your shoes or pee in the house? "Training" gets a bad rap, but in actuality it's just they laying down of boundaries in shared space. In my case, it's not a spouse at all, but rather abusive co-irkers who think they have the right to (fill in the blank) and when I realized that I helped perpetuate that behaviour by acknowledging it, I rethought things. I now ONLY "shamu" (as Amy calls it) which is throw a mackerel (heh heh) when they behave in POSITIVE ways and I completely ignore the behaviour I don't like. I used to be the department school marm, reminding certain individuals that it violated [human/union rights/common sense etc.] to talk to me that way. Now I reaize they get off on being troublemakers, and ignoring it stops the behaviour almost dead in the tracks.

It's absolutely fascinating!

Her husband was in on it from the start, and they often joke about "shamu-ing" each other now. It just means they focus on what they like about each other, instead of harping on what they don't like. I do recommend the book.

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[info]fiveandfour
2008-05-10 08:49 am UTC (link)
That 'ignore what you don't like, praise what you do like' aspect is very much like dealing with a young child, which makes it a little funnier to me when thinking of it in terms of training an adult towards behaviors you want to see exhibited. Our daughter threw a temper tantrum exactly once, for example, so I can certainly testify that such techniques work on kids.

I'll have to put some thought into it further as respects training adults. Knowing her husband knew about what she was doing from the get-go makes a difference to me, too. It makes the whole thing come off as more respectful and mature vs. my sense about the project at first impression.

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