Princess Strokenham (fiveandfour) wrote,
Princess Strokenham

Modern Day Poet

During my lunch/errand break (why do decent moisturizers that don't make me break out with allergic hives or acne spots cost so much? ::woe::) I grabbed a Portland Mercury to read while eating. I turned to the Savage Love column (I see his point about the gay marriage vs. polygamy issue), but had a few bites left to eat so started reading the adjacent page. This turned out to be the personal ads. I was quite enjoying wondering to myself things like "did the girl who expressed an interest in philosophy say 'Descrates' on purpose, did she misspell it, or did the Mercury?" when I ran across my second favorite personal ad of all time (here's the first):

Hip to be Square
In sum: I am a lot like Emily Dickinson, if she'd had Internet access and a penis.
Brewne*, 25, #123714

I nearly choked to death laughing. If it didn't cost $4.99, I'd likely be tempted to leave a message saying how full of awesome genius I find that ad. Or maybe ask him to help me think up something for my tombstone. Because it seems to me the kind of mind that could come up with that would be the kind of mind I could use to help me come up with one of those pithy tombstone sayings that people take pictures of and talk about for hundreds of years.

Ladies**, if money is no object you might want to respond. If you do, you simply must come back and tell me all about it.

*I'm not completely sure I got the name right. I also don't know if that 25 is supposed to represent his age or something else. There goes my chances of being an ace reporter.
**The ad was in the "Boys 4 Girls" section, so I'm thinking he's straight.

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