February 26th, 2008

summer reading

Painful Day

U2 has a song called Dirty Day that's dark, with lots of bass, sung in a low register, about the break up of a relationship ("dragging me down, that's not the way it used to be, you can't even remember what I'm trying to forget", "love won't last kissing time"). The sound of that song fit yesterday perfectly.

It started with a drill in my mouth at the dentist. I had a small cavity filled a few years ago that was a quick in-and-out kind of procedure, no pain medication needed. Yesterday was supposed to be the same. And for the most part, it was - at least when it came to the specific tooth in question. But somehow the dentist and the assistant managed to hit every sensitive nerve in my mouth. Repeatedly. Plus wrench a few things around related to my jaw and gums. There were a few times they had to stop so I could come back to consciousness. I kept thinking of Marathon Man, imagining myself walking out of there with a hole in one of my front teeth.

Finally it was over and my mouth felt like it had been taken apart and put back together. It still hurts today.

Then I got to work and had the joy of doing Accounting work nearly all day. I've been working on this project since last November. I swear, every time I ask the main finance guy to confirm the data I'm supposed to be working with, I get a different answer. Add to that the fact that he's giving me his different answers in some finance lingo that makes no freaking sense to me and you'll come close to understanding my frustration level in trying to sort out what has been a relatively simple procedure every other time I've had to perform it.

After those frustrations, I was looking forward to step class and weight lifting at the gym. But then it hurt. Every bit of it seemed to take tons of mental energy to get through because physically it was so damned hard. I understand that once in awhile, seemingly inexplicably, it's just like that and you can decide to either work through it or attack it again some other day. I don't know why I was so determined to push it yesterday and work through it, but I was.

So the day went from painful physically, to painful mentally, to painful physically and mentally.

I'm ready for my theme song now.

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