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frazzled and bedazzled
So Much to Do, Yet...
I'm at one of those phases where there's a plethora of projects to choose from, yet I'm having difficulty in choosing a lane and getting on with things. There are a few projects where I just need a little more info to be able to finish and be done with them, so I guess maybe I'm just nervous to get too involved in anything else knowing that I'll just have to drop it should what I need arrive.

I am too methodical for this multi-tasking world. I find it difficult to get fully engaged in many things at the same time - I work much better concentrating on one thing, then moving on when that thing is done. Through training, I've learned to be able to have multiple balls in the air at the same time. However, being able to juggle doesn't mean I *like* to juggle.

::Sigh:: I've probably been a 75 year-old codger in a younger person's body my whole life, so I can't say I'm surprised to know I'm out of step with yet another aspect of today's reality.

Meanwhile, there's a corner of my mind chewing on something unrelated to work. A friend discovered Chinese astrology and she's been introducing people to their element + animal. I found it much like other astrological descriptions I've seen - about 85% correct and 15% wrong. I know it's got to be like those mind tricks that magician's play where they ask the audience to think of a number, have random people stand up and say numbers aloud, then show you cards where he's written down the numbers the audience members say before he even asked people to stand up. So I know it's not "truth" in that way we like to know truth in this scientific age, yet I still can't see how it's done!

Anyway, the thing my brain latched onto was something about how my sign has a way of being secretive about the full extent of the things they are most interested in/passionate about and only letting others see tiny glimpses of those things. I had never realized it before, but that's totally something I do. I'd guess that my family is the most clued in as respects the direction or theme of the majority of my interests, but there really is no one person who truly knows about/shares all of the things I love to think about, read about, talk about, dream about, want to do and actually do... It's not necessarily that I intend to be secretive about things, it's that for the most part I figure it'd just be a bore to others.

I've become so used to having different groups of people satisfy those different sides of me that now I don't know if it's even possible to find all of the same interests aligned in one person. Even if it is possible, I don't know that I'd actually like it all that much because one of the things I like to do is find out what other people love - if I was with someone who only liked the same things as me, that could be fantastic fun, but it could also be a colossal bore.

I suppose marriage is maybe the place one expects to find "the one", but my husband and I both found early on that we liked one another better when we maintained a bit of space to entertain ourselves with things that were truly our own. I know some people can work with their spouse, do lots of activities with their spouse, and happily see them day in and day out at home and never get tired of it, but that's not us.

So. I don't know that there's anything to *do* about this new bit of self-knowledge, but that doesn't mean my brain will stop chewing it over when it would be better served just picking a damned project and working on it, even if I do have to stop 10 minutes later.

(Speaking of pre-occupied minds, this article about insomniacs gave me one of the biggest "Well, duh!" moments I can remember. People can't sleep because their brains won't turn off? You don't say! Sheesh!)
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